Fitness & Sexual Fulfillment At Any Age

fitness-and-sexual-fulfillmentThere are many components in a healthy sex life—energy, desire, honesty, agility, emotion, communication and imagination among them. A healthy sex life requires balancing these components to find joy and gratification for yourself and your partner. A plethora of books have been written on healthy sexuality, but this focus is on the benefit of how a fit lifestyle impacts sexual performance.

The good news is there is not just one perfect formula for sexual satisfaction. A woman who wears a size 2 can find happiness with a husky lumberjack, and a ‘Rubenesque’ lady can enjoy a romp with a Kentucky Derby jockey (or another ‘Rubenesque’ lady for that matter).

Researchers agree, however, that whether large or small, people will find sex more appealing and enjoyable if they (and their partner) are pursuing basic fitness goals such as regular exercise, stretching, cardio conditioning and sensible nutrition. Our modern culture promotes sleeker silhouettes at every turn, and that can be a good motivator, but realistic expectations and the simple act of accepting yourself are important mental conditioning, as well.

Yoga practitioners find whole body rejuvenation in the poses they practice, enhancing circulation, flexibility, self-confidence, body sensitivity, muscle control, core stability, range of motion and stress elimination.

Local yoga instructor Jillian Walker says, “First and foremost, a healthy sex life begins within your own mind.”

“What does your relationship to yourself look like? Do you love yourself? Do you like the way your body looks and feels? Are you kind to yourself and conscious of your well-being,” Walker asks rhetorically.

“A healthy sex life begins with strong, positive connections. Sex is not just about the orgasm. It has the potential to be a deeply satisfying experience that can enhance your well-being,” Walker says. “The number one yogic benefit to sex is meditation.”

Walker recommends the following mental and physical exercise: Find a quiet place where you can sit comfortably, with your back straight, close your eyes and begin to focus on your breath. Start breathing deep into your belly, bring the breath all the way through the diaphragm, lower lungs, upper lungs, and invite the shoulders back, then slowly exhale, compressing belly, diaphragm, lungs. Take five slow and steady breaths in this manner. Then, slowly repeat in your mind, and then aloud, each of these affirmations, three times each: ‘I love myself. I love my body. I am full of love. I am full of compassion. I am comfortable with my sexuality. I am beautiful. I am radiant. Life is for me.’

Lucia Gabriela is a Sarasota-based life coach and massage therapist who counsels individuals, couples and groups on fitness, nutrition, intimacy and sexuality.

Gabriela is a proponent of balance in peoples’ lives—with a conscious effort to tend to your mental, physical, emotional, spiritual and sexual systems on a regular and sustained basis.

Physical fitness and exercise are important but that too much time devoted to workouts will crowd out attention to the other aspects of life, Gabriela says.

“They gym is not necessarily the best place to condition your whole self. If too much energy is focused on physical fitness, it will ultimately hurt the libido,” she says. “And drugs can’t restore the ideal balance; it must come from within.”

Gabriela recommends that people keep a life journal to keep track of and reflect on the amount of time they devote to all these areas.

Yoga is also a way to enhance your sexual performance, Gabriela says.

“It helps with flexibility, agility and especially circulation, which she describes as mirroring the orgasmic cycle of stimulating, expanding and relaxing,” she says. “It’s important for people to be fit to achieve maximum sexual performance. Good circulation will help with erection and orgasm, and yoga’s mind clarity can make sex more fulfilling.”

Gabriela conducts retreats focusing on energy, emotional healing, loving oneself, achieving balance and attracting others. Upcoming ‘Seminars on Sexuality’ begin July 18 with a retreat in Sarasota on July 22 featuring Australian Andrew Barnes, who is an internationally recognized expert on male and female orgasm as well as tantric sex.

These experts all seem to agree that real fitness as it relates to sex is more than lifting weights and fitting into that tight black sweater. It’s all about the balance. Go for it!

Lucia Gabriela can be reached at 516-287-0242 or visit